Catharsis on Raccoon Mountain

“Look at me”

 

Nude and cream                                                                                                                                                                  

My bare feet crunching dead leaves

Skin and chambray

Staring into the lens instead of running away

 

You drove us back down the mountain overlooking a glittering little Tennessee Valley town

A hand on my thigh, a deep baritone spreading over a chilled, early Spring breeze

It’s not love, and it won’t be

But it’s better;

It’s vulnerability and Penny and Sparrow and tequila

 

I’ll drive back to Atlanta tonight and one day soon, he’ll fly back to New York City,

I’ll have feeling stripped bare and finding myself more beautiful for it with me always.

 

“What are you thinking?"

 

A boy I loved once told me if I worked at it, I could be as beautiful as some photographer’s muse

I’m learning that I have a glow; one he wasn’t trying to dim - just one of which he wasn’t aware

Fuck the photos

Fuck the boy

I’m thinking I found a way to fall in love with myself on Raccoon Mountain

 

“Close your eyes”

 

Heart open, case closed.

 

Caitlin McDonald lives in Atlanta, Georgia

@SCaitlinM